The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue hit our house a few weeks ago. And I have a confession. In the past, I’ve thrown out what I call the SI Swimskank Issue before Brad even hit the door from work. I know, some shrink could have a field day with that fraught gesture, but, hey, I’m not proud. So, I threw the durn thing out. To his credit, Brad was too proud to inquire. All told, there are so many things I have to compete with OUTSIDE my four walls and if I can keep something as depressing and downright mean as the SI Swimsuit issue from INSIDE my four walls, I am better for it. Brad would contend HE is not better for it, but who cares? I mean, I’m not keeping a dog-eared copy of Oprah Magazine’s “Hottest Hotties of the Year” issue by my bedside openly mocking my husband and all he’s NOT, am I?
For some reason, this year’s issue slipped by me. Which is a good thing, because you know what I found out – besides the fact that someone thinks strands and strands of strategically placed and highly colorful beads constitutes a bikini top? I found out that if for some reason you don’t want to receive the SI Swimskank issue you can call the SI customer service center toll-free and request NOT to receive that issue and SI will extend your subscription by one issue.
Isn’t that sweet of them? As if any male on the planet would do such a thing — actually go the trouble of calling a toll-free number to request that favorite his magazine filled with gorgous and scantily-clad women lounging on exotic beaches NOT get delivered to the privacy of his own home.
I’m only marginally impressed by the gesture which is, after all, buried in the actual magazine on the “Letters” page and posted in tiny print at the bottom of the page. As if any wife or girlfriend or fiancée is going to locate such a glorious offer and make said call. So I’m going to help out my girls. The number is 1-866-228-1175. I’m calling today to get a headstart on next swimsuit season and to save myself some heartache.