May 8th – If you want a hard, cold dose of reality, go through the drive-through teller at the bank and look at yourself on the new cameras they have posted by your banking kiosk. Those things are HIDEOUS. I was at the bank today and out of the corner of my eye caught this bloated, slovenly, oversized figure moving around on that tiny screen and when I tuned in closer to see who that poor women might be, mercy be to Estee Lauder, it was ME! I looked like an Oompa Loompa in workout clothes. I was so appalled that I couldn’t turn away until the camera switched to a ginormous talking teller head who blinded me with her toothy smile and told me to “have a nice day.” Well, I was having a perfectly nice day, thank you, until my unwashed, blimp-sized head was broadcast on some weird banking mini-cam. It was downhill after that.
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