July 28th — My favorite magazine (that shall remain unnamed in this post) recently sent me one of those lovely, don’t-forget-we-love-you-as-a-reader emails with the tagline “How to Clean Children’s Bath Toys.”

Huh? 

What happened to my pretty little periodical that offered up clever quotes and gorgeous origami as art?  Layouts of real women wearing real and quasi-affordable clothes?  Pages of interesting essays written by interesting people? Recipes for yummy food made with real ingredients? The magazine I read to cover to cover each and every month?

Had one of my favorite mags turned into a silly little how-to guide for silly little people who, really, don’t know how to clean children’s bath toys?  

Are these same people befuddled by, say, how to crack an egg? How to turn on light?

I can imagine the answer. 

“When you enter the room, evaluate the need for additional light.  Remember, reading a book will require light, as will plucking your eyebrows. Cleaning your toilet does not require light – the less dirt you see, the quicker the clean.

Glance around the room and assess your options. You’re looking for a light switch on the wall or for a lamp – lamps generally sit on tables and have barrel-like shades to help diffuse the light so it doesn’t hurt your eyes.   Remember, lamps come in different shapes and sizes, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t identify them at first. You’ll get the hang of it with practice. Both mechanisms have a switch that, when turned or flipped, cause light to appear.  If light does NOT appear when you turn on a light switch or a lamp, it could be a faulty light bulb.  Be sure to check back in tomorrow when we answer the question “What is a light bulb and why do I need one?”

Exactly.

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