“365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy” came out June 24th by Berkley Books, a division of Penguin. It’s a funny and intimate look into turning 40, being married and wondering if there is more to marriage than laundry, babysitters and negotiating the DVR. It started when Charla’s husband was about to celebrate four decades on this planet, and she offered to give him something memorable – something that only she could give.
She offered him sex every day for a year.
This book documents that year. It’s not the behind-the-scene details of their sex life (which, really, would not be all that interesting), but rather a modest, G-rated story about how a year of daily intimacy transformed a marriage. About how the “stuff” everyone brings to a marriage can bear down on the relationship, intimacy and the desire to connect.
This endeavor did not start as a book idea, but an honest attempt to improve a relationship. From “Dr. Phil” to The New York Times, the topic of marriage and intimacy is an incredibly relevant issue, it seems. Certainly Charla is no expert, but she’s been amazed at how her experience has resonated with family and friends who know about this year of intimacy. Everyone seems to have a comment, an anecdote or a perspective about intimacy and marriage…everybody.
Certainly a year is a long time. They could have tried this out for a week, a month or even one hundred days. But a year of intimacy forced a discipline that was unexpected and created a new landscape for their marriage. This book is not intended to be a self-help book. Charla insists that she has no more business counseling someone on their marriage than her mailman. Rather, it’s a book about the ups and downs of married life, trying to have it all (and failing) and figuring out how to get back to the basics of a grounded, faith-based marriage.